Wednesday, November 30, 2011
I was dating this guy I nicknamed Sketch because he would always get sketched out and paranoid. Red Flag. I thought I should be patient. I ran out of patience when I found out he bugged his place. Red Flag. I talked into the bugs/hidden camera I know you bugged your place not cool. He didn't even try to deny it. How can you be that uptight in Hawaii? Red Flag. Sketch/Bugged His House Guy. Red Flag. Good Times:)
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
I'm really excited about my new Indian name Turquoise Long Feather Sleeps on Bar:) My brother's Indian names are One Night Stands. My sister's Indian name is Crazy Eyes Yells Alot Owns 12 rifles. My Mom's Indian name is Eagle Eye and my Dad's Indian Name is Hawk Eye.
Friday, November 18, 2011
When your Mom wants to set you up with her friend's son and she says he's got a great personality that's code for he's butt ugly. My mom clearly doesn't care about my happiness she just wants grandchildren not happening with Chubaka:) This guy looked like a cross between Chubaka, Cow, & Shit:) The worst part about it he was no fun, bad B.O., & had two left feet wouldn't dance. Mom's Friend's Son. Red Flag. Good Times:)
Did you ever have a one night stand and you think it's sex, right and the guy starts crying in bed? Red Flag. I'm thinking am I that bad. No way:) Then I find out he's crying because he's never had a one night stand. Can't a girl have vacation sex in Amsterdam? I can't even have a one night stand I ended up dating this guy for a couple years. I realize I never break up with guys I just move; you lose touch, or they get deported. We never broke up he got a DUI in his garage and got deported:) Cries After Sex Guy. Red Flag. Good times:)
This cute fun guy asks me out for a drink but then tells me it's not a date. It's Not A Date Guy asks me out for the weekend but I'm busy. We were sitting at a bar why don't we just have a drink now together. It's Not A Date Guy tells me he wants us to go out on a different night and have a drink together but it's not a date. It's Not A Date Guy. Red Flag. Good Times:)
Friday, November 11, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
I am at a friend's birthday dancing with Hot Australian guy, who tells me he is gay. I figured that because he's wearing hot pink pants and sequin sparkles. We were having so much fun he tells me he's not really gay. I tell him you can't tell me you are gay and then take it back and go pre-gay. Red Flag. Good times:) Pre-Gay Guy and I kept dancing the night away.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Hides Photos Guy puts the picture I gave him of us in his drawer. Red Flag. I never give guys photos but I let my buddy shit talker talk me into it. Bad idea. You know your relationship is going really well when you find a picture of you and your boyfriend in his drawer. Red Flag. Hides Photos Guy. Red Flag. Good times:) Check out my comedy films on www.funnyordie.com/cordova and vote funny and follow me on twitter:@redflagcordova and I can follow you on twitter too:)