Saturday, April 21, 2012

Red Flag "Ticks Are Dicks"

Did you ever sleep with someone and then wake up asking yourself what happened?  At least if alcohol's involved....blame it on alcohol?

WTF!  I slept with a tick.  The tick was so quiet I didn't even know he was there.  No, I didn't mean to write dick instead of tick.  This tick was a dick.  He was a pain in my side nagging at me all day/night, stalked me in my shower, game killer at the bars in Venice.  How did I end up sleeping with a tick?  Don't film or hike in Temescal Canyon right now....apparently it's invested with ticks.  I didn't even know what a tick looked like until it spent the night, got all needy, and sucked my blood like a vampire.  Instead of Hunger Games I was in the Tick Games this week.  At first I thought the tick was a thorn when I was pulling it out of my body and when it moved it had spiderlike legs....holy shit....I'm turning into an alien/spiderwoman/WTF is happening.  This was really happening....Thank goodness for ER doctors especially Dr. Joe, who subscribed antibiotics so I don't get lime disease.  Ticks.  Red Flag.  At least the tick wasn't as painful as the sea urchin that got stuck in my foot when I was windsurfing in Maui.  I had to get the sea urchin lasered out of my foot.  Good times:)

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Red Flag "Kissing Bandit"

The Kissing Bandit, who made out with two girls on his way to the bathroom and then two more girls at the Bar in Venice was so entertaining.  Clearly, we are going out again.  The Kissing Bandit calls me up and wants to go out again.  I changed my mind....He was so entertaining I went out with him again to see what was going to happen this time.  He asks me if I have any Anphetamines(no time to check the spelling my apologies if I spelled it wrong)....this is the second guy who has asked me this week for Anphetamines.  I'm so naive I'm thinking that was in my allergy/sinus cold medication.  He says that's so cute because I have no idea it's speed/pcp.  The Kissing Bandit/Addicted to Speed rallies to meet at a fun bar and he didn't even make out with any girls at the bar or on his way to the bathroom, no entertainment factor, tired guy.  The date with the Kissing Bandit was a total bust.  Kissing Bandit.  Red Flag.  Good times:)

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Red Flag "Making Out with Other Girls On his way to the bathroom & at the bar"

I just went out on a date with the Kissing Bandit.  The Kissing Bandit might be more talented then the Dutch Guy, who got a DUI in his garage.  The Kissing Bandit and I are at a bar and on his way to the bathroom makes out with two girls.  Red Flag.  Then he goes to order us drinks and makes out with two other girls at the bar.  Red Flag.  I'm across the bar thinking this is hilarious....when did this guy start drinking....The Kissing Bandit reminded me of my best friend Dan, who motor boated the bartender at the Side Door....

Finally, the Kissing Bandit after kissing half the bar brings me my glass of wine like nothing happened.  Then he asks me to go home with him.  Clearly, not happening....this is our first and last date.  Good Times:)  Drunk Kissing Bandit.   Red Flag:)  I wonder what he's like sober he was very entertaining will give him that much:)

Monday, April 9, 2012

Red Flag "Long Distance Guy"

Long Distance Guy....Red Flag.  Long Distance only works if you don't like the person once you start to care it goes downhill.