Red Flag " Men in Tights & Capes"

I got asked out by a man in tights and capes.  Red Flag.  Okay maybe I would of went out with Batman but he was too busy fighting Superman while their buddy Spider Man watched and drank a forty.  Men in tights and capes.  Red Flag.  Good times:)

Red Flag "Late Night Texter Guy"

I got a text from a hot brazilian guy I'm bored that makes two of us I'm asleep.   

Please share and post your funny dating stories on my blog and pass my blog along to your friends, live love, and laugh:)  Happy Halloween:)

Red Flag "Trying to hit me with his Pee Guy"

Cougher Guy coughs in my face then asks me for my number and then he gets mad when I say I don't give my number out to random guys unless they are illegal aliens.  Cougher Guy pees on a tree outside then tries to hit me with his pee when I walk by.  Red Flag.  Good times:)

Red Flag "Too Close Spitter"

I was at the Director's Guild tonight for the NBC Universal film event and I met Too Close Spitter, who spit on me every time he talked.  Red Flag.  Too Close Spitter tells me if he could turn back time.  I'm thinking I'd like to turn back time to the time you didn't spit on me.  Too Close Spitter.  Red Flag.  Good Times:)

Red Flag "Zombie Guy"

I got hit on by a Zombie on Melrose today.   He looked just like my Prom Date:)  Red Flag.  Good Times:) 

Broad Humor Film Festival Filmmakers Karen from the UK, Juliette Bennett from NYC, and Victoria Cordova from LA

Red Flag "She Man Dominatrix"

I got hit on by a She Man Dominatrix on my American Airlines flight.  I couldn't fall asleep because I didn't want to be duck taped to my seat and I had Airplane Farter Guy bombing me big time.  She Man tells me they are a Dominatrix.  The worst part about it was She Man Dominatrix had bigger boobs than I did.  Red Flag.   I gave She Man Dominatrix the hot half gay guy's number in row 27.  Good Times:)

Victoria, Aparna, Chris, & Andrea did Stand Up Comedy on the Show Do You Think You're Funny?

Red Flag "Farting Airplane Guy"

Farting Airplane Guy is farting on me the entire plan ride and tells me I have bad breath.  I tell him that's because I have been inhaling your farts jack ass.  Farting Airplane Guy.  Red Flag.  Good times on American Airlines:)

Red Flag"Call Me Back in 15 Minutes Guy"

I was having a dinner party and I invited my Hawaiian Kite surfer buddy Lou to the dinner, who told me to call him back in 15 minutes.  I called Lou back to invite him to the dinner and he said call me back in 15 minutes. Of course I call him back because he's so cute:) I called him back and he repeats the same thing Call Me Back in 15 minutes.  Red Flag.  There's nothing to call him back about either come to the dinner party or if you are busy no problem.  I can't keep calling someone back.  I have no follow through or time:)  Good Times.  Call Me Back in 15 Minutes Guy.  Red Flag.  

Red Flag "Dating Two Sisters Guy"

I love the mindset of the Dating Two Sisters Guy as if he's going to get away with dating two sisters.  Red Flag.  He got mad at me because I wouldn't date him so he peed in my car.  Dating Two Sisters Guy put out his cigarettes all over my car.  Good Times.  Dating Two Sisters Guy.  Red Flag.

Red Flag "Dating two Sisters Guy"

This hot Hawaii guy he's trying to date my sister and I.  Red Flag.  Sisters are going to talk can't date two sisters; if he was smart he would of tried to date two girls not related and who didn't live together.  His way of making it up to me for dating my sister is he gave me a dictionary as if a dictionary is going to make up for dating my sister.  The dictionary would of been useful if it wasn't in Hawaiian.  Dating Two Sisters Guy.  Red Flag.  Good Times:)

Did you ever date someone and you didn't make the cut because the Italian/Swiss guy wants to date a whore...How come I never get to be the whore?

Did you ever date someone and you didn't make the cut?  Italian/Swiss Guy comes to LA from Switzerland to tell me he needs to be dating a whore.  Red Flag.  Good to know.  I'm thinking why didn't he just call me to tell me this.  Then I thought why can't I be the whore?  I never get to be the whore then I thought it's way too much effort.  Italian/Swiss guy tells me no guys will tell you they want to date a whore; that's because it's a deal breaker.  Italian/Swiss guy tells me at least he's honest that is true but he's acting as if I should give him a gold medal for honest whore dating.  I realize in relationships I never break up I just move.  I should of seen the red flags.  Italian/Swiss Guy has a stripper pole in his living room; he doesn't even have to go to a strip club he just wakes up and goes to his living room.  Strip Club.  He told me he has his stripper pole because he's practicing he's an amateur fireman.  Italian/Swiss guy.  Red Flag.  Good times:)  We've been friends since Hawaii so the Italian/Swiss guy he should of been here when my Brazilian friends were in town:)  I love my Brazilian friends always ask is this outfit too short.  You are wearing a belt.  I'm sure you will be the most popular girl out tonight.  Everyone should go to Brazil sexy country and beautiful people:)  Good Times:)

ConvictedFelons.com Ep1 Bank Robbers

Red Flag "Hot Stoner Guy who forgets lunch date?"

Hot Stoner Guy asks me to lunch then when I meet him for lunch he asks why am I here?  Because you asked me to lunch...I'm thinking is it my neck brace:)  Hot Stoner Guy who forgets our lunch date.  Red Flag.  Good Times:)

Convictedfelons.Com Film screened at the Broad Humor Film Festival

My convicted felon date inspired my comedy film Convictedfelons.Com which was a big hit at the Broad Humor Film Festival.  I won an award for Best Broad at the Broad Humor Film Festival.  You can check out the film at www.funnyordie.com/cordova and vote funny:)  You can also see the film on www.youtube.com/MsVcordova.  Thank everyone who helped on the film as well as Trader Joe's, Starbuck's, and Sprinkles cupcakes:)

Broad Humor Film Festival Stand Up Soiree

Thank you Annie and Jenn for doing the Broad Humor Film Festival Stand Up Comedy Soiree in Venice.  Where's the super talented Laurie Kilmartin and Erin Foley for the photo.  Thank you to all the fabulous funny beautiful ladies Aparna, Lisa, Erin, Laurie, and Victoria doing comedy:) 

Red Flag "Cross Dresser Guy"

I met this cool guy at the Irish Film Festival and then he tells me he is a Cross Dresser.  Red Flag.  Irish Cross Dresser Guy tells me we are going to be dating.  He only wants to date me to wear my Diane von Furstenberg dresses.  I already lost one Diane von Furstenberg dress to the Bi-polar Ex-boyfriend, who put that dress in storage in Colorado apparently he wants to wear it this winter.  I know the dress is cashmere but that's half gay.  Irish Cross Dresser Guy got mad at me that I didn't want to date him.  Angry Irish Cross Dresser Guy.  Red Flag.