Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Olympic Gold Medal Swimmer Guy

I had coffee with hot Olympic Gold Medal Swimmer Guy.  He asked if we could date.  I told him are you emotionally stable because that's number one on my list and he said no.  Bummer.   Red Flag.  Olympic Gold Medal Swimmer Guy said he's crazy and I'm thinking is he good crazy or really crazy and we would have a lot of fun.  That is probably true.  I'm trying to avoid Red Flags so I told Olympic Gold Medal Swimmer Guy he would like my sister, who I nicknamed "Crazy Eyes Yells A Lot."  Olympic Gold Medal Swimmer Guy is a super hot Red Flag.  Good times:) 

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Women In Film/TV Pre-Emmy Party

Women In Film/TV & Variety Magazine's Pre-Emmy Party.  Good Times:)

Kindergarten Guy

I went out with Kindergarten Guy we'll blame it on alcohol:)  Kindergarten Guy tells me I'm not relationship material because of my shoe size.  My shoe size is an 8 apparently he only dates 7's.  I like dating ten's:)  I told Kindergarten Guy let's be friends and he started yelling he didn't want to be my friend.  Kindergarten Guy.  Red Flag. 

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Red Flag Date "Kindergarten Guy"

I went out with this guy, who keeps asking me Kindergarten questions; what is my favorite color?  He told me I wasn't relationship material because he didn't like my favorite color.  My favorite color is black so he got insecure.  Kindergarten Guy.  Red Flag.  Good times:)

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Guy who can't turn left in his car

I'm driving in guy,who can't turn left in his car. Red Flag. He freaks out the bank's on the left. He can't turn left then he would have to make another left that's way too dangerous. I asked him u never turn left. He says no I just keep turning right. How does this guy drive anywhere? I was trying to be supportive but it's weird he can't make left turns. We had to park across the street then walk across two streets to get to the bank. Guy, who can't turn left driving. Red flag. Good times:)

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

"No Alcohol Guy's a Total Bust"

Alcohol makes everything more fun including your date.  I'm a lightweight I'm drunk off two drinks.  It's amazing how your date can be a blast then without alcohol then you actually have to get to know the person and it's a total bust.  You have nothing to talk about or have in common; even worse you eat in silence.  Red Flags.  No Alcohol Guy's A Total Bust.  (Public Service Announcement there are plenty of fun guys who don't drink especially my fun Spanish guy friends, they are the party:)

Friday, July 6, 2012

Red Flag Dates: Guy buying shoes for some other girl

This guy asks me out on a date only to go shopping to buy some other girl a pair of shoes. Red Flag. I didn't make the shoe cut people. I know it's not fair to him to assume he's with shoe girl. What guy buys shoes for another girl unless he is sleeping with her or wants too. I'm not stupid what does he think I'm stupid; he's stupid. I have brothers; i feel taking your date to buy shoes for another girl is weird. I am delayed reaction and learning to communicate so I can't communicate my feelings which are hurt & upset. I don't care that he wasn't buying me shoes it was the fact he was buying some other girl shoes; way to make a lady feel special. Then he asks me what shoe size I am; I say eight or eight and a half. He asks me would I want the shoe to fit bigger or tighter. I told him I like a shoe that fits. He got upset and said I was too difficult to buy shoes for. Red Flag. When is wanting your shoes to fit equal difficult. We had fun before but this date was a total bust. I just wanted to leave. He wants me to go up to his place. I go up to his place only to hear him call her that he got a surprise for her and to come by. Guy who buys shoes for for another girl while on a date. Red Flag.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Red Flag Dates: Dirty Bathroom Guy

Red Flag Dates: Dirty Bathroom Guy: Dirty Bathroom Guy is so sweet, hot, fun, famous; too bad his Bathroom is a natural disaster.  Red Flag.  I told him who are you dating Hurr...

Red Flag Dates: My boyfriend asks some other girl to Vegas

Red Flag Dates: My boyfriend asks some other girl to Vegas: My boyfriend tells me he asked some other girl to Vegas because he didn't think I could go.  Red Flag.  He asks me if he would of asked me c...

Red Flag Dates: Dirty Bathroom Guy

Red Flag Dates: Dirty Bathroom Guy: Dirty Bathroom Guy is so sweet, hot, fun, famous; too bad his Bathroom is a natural disaster.  Red Flag.  I told him who are you dating Hurr...

Dirty Bathroom Guy

Dirty Bathroom Guy is so sweet, hot, fun, famous; too bad his Bathroom is a natural disaster.  Red Flag.  I told him who are you dating Hurricane Katrina!  I can't even shower there.  He got into my car which was brave of him.  My car looks like I've been dating Hurricane Katrina's brother.  I did clean my car and water came out of my tires.  I had to get 4 new tires.  I told Dirty Bathroom Guy to clean his bathroom.  Elephant in the bathtub; pewbs in the sink; you can't turn the light on; I went to shut the bathroom door and it fell off.  Good Times:)  Dirty Bathroom Guys.  Red Flag.  Come on guys if you want to get laid or blow jobs in your shower....clean your bathrooms:)  Public Service Announcement to all Dirty Bathroom Guys.  Get your shit together...Ladies want to be treated like ladies, we don't want to look at your shit in the toilet or see your neighbors shit when there is a plumbing problem.  Dirty Bathroom Guys.  Red Flag. 

My boyfriend asks some other girl to Vegas

My boyfriend tells me he asked some other girl to Vegas because he didn't think I could go.  Red Flag.  He asks me if he would of asked me could I have gone.  I didn't make the Vegas rotation people.  I'm delayed reaction....I tell him have fun.  I don't know how to feel or communicate my feelings so I tell him Vegas is always a good time last time I went to Vegas I got so drunk I drove off in a cab without the cab driver.  I think I left the cab at Hard Rock Casino.  I can't remember.  The only thing I remember was my friends, who I nicknamed "the Margarita Sisters"(all they drink are Margaritas) got kicked out of the Hard Rock Casino.  That's talent people.  My boyfriend gets bummed out because I act like I don't care and says this girl invited herself to go with him.  Now he's changing his story.  The fact was he didn't ask me to go to Vegas.  If you want to ask a girl to Vegas don't tell her you invited some other girl to Vegas but if she was free could she have gone.  Red Flag.  My boyfriend/Exboyfriend/ Red Flag...again...Good Times:)

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Red Flag "Ticks Are Dicks"

Did you ever sleep with someone and then wake up asking yourself what happened?  At least if alcohol's involved....blame it on alcohol?

WTF!  I slept with a tick.  The tick was so quiet I didn't even know he was there.  No, I didn't mean to write dick instead of tick.  This tick was a dick.  He was a pain in my side nagging at me all day/night, stalked me in my shower, game killer at the bars in Venice.  How did I end up sleeping with a tick?  Don't film or hike in Temescal Canyon right now....apparently it's invested with ticks.  I didn't even know what a tick looked like until it spent the night, got all needy, and sucked my blood like a vampire.  Instead of Hunger Games I was in the Tick Games this week.  At first I thought the tick was a thorn when I was pulling it out of my body and when it moved it had spiderlike legs....holy shit....I'm turning into an alien/spiderwoman/WTF is happening.  This was really happening....Thank goodness for ER doctors especially Dr. Joe, who subscribed antibiotics so I don't get lime disease.  Ticks.  Red Flag.  At least the tick wasn't as painful as the sea urchin that got stuck in my foot when I was windsurfing in Maui.  I had to get the sea urchin lasered out of my foot.  Good times:)

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Red Flag "Kissing Bandit"

The Kissing Bandit, who made out with two girls on his way to the bathroom and then two more girls at the Bar in Venice was so entertaining.  Clearly, we are going out again.  The Kissing Bandit calls me up and wants to go out again.  I changed my mind....He was so entertaining I went out with him again to see what was going to happen this time.  He asks me if I have any Anphetamines(no time to check the spelling my apologies if I spelled it wrong)....this is the second guy who has asked me this week for Anphetamines.  I'm so naive I'm thinking that was in my allergy/sinus cold medication.  He says that's so cute because I have no idea it's speed/pcp.  The Kissing Bandit/Addicted to Speed rallies to meet at a fun bar and he didn't even make out with any girls at the bar or on his way to the bathroom, no entertainment factor, tired guy.  The date with the Kissing Bandit was a total bust.  Kissing Bandit.  Red Flag.  Good times:)

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Red Flag "Making Out with Other Girls On his way to the bathroom & at the bar"

I just went out on a date with the Kissing Bandit.  The Kissing Bandit might be more talented then the Dutch Guy, who got a DUI in his garage.  The Kissing Bandit and I are at a bar and on his way to the bathroom makes out with two girls.  Red Flag.  Then he goes to order us drinks and makes out with two other girls at the bar.  Red Flag.  I'm across the bar thinking this is hilarious....when did this guy start drinking....The Kissing Bandit reminded me of my best friend Dan, who motor boated the bartender at the Side Door....

Finally, the Kissing Bandit after kissing half the bar brings me my glass of wine like nothing happened.  Then he asks me to go home with him.  Clearly, not happening....this is our first and last date.  Good Times:)  Drunk Kissing Bandit.   Red Flag:)  I wonder what he's like sober he was very entertaining will give him that much:)

Monday, April 9, 2012

Red Flag "Long Distance Guy"

Long Distance Guy....Red Flag.  Long Distance only works if you don't like the person once you start to care it goes downhill.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Red Flag "Don't put Hummus on your Risotto in Sicily"

I nicknamed by buddy in Sicily Kitchen Natzi.   You can't cook in his kitchen which is fine by me because he's an amazing chef and I love to watch him cook.  The way he makes tomato sauce it's like he's performing heart surgery.  Everything he cooks is fabulous.  His friend brought Hummus from Israel to Sicily.  I love Hummus.  I know I shouldn't put Hummus on my friend's amazing Risotto he made because that's a crime in Sicily.  I didn't think he could see me because I was sitting at one end of the table in the dark outside/candlelight dinner and he was at the other end of the table.  His friend yells to him in Italian she's putting hummus on your risotto.  Italian Drama.  I'm a Red Flag in Sicily.  I was getting calls from friends in London and amazing Frank from France worried about me having heard I put hummus on the risotto in Sicily.  Don't put Hummus on your risotto in Sicily and get caught by the cute Kitchen Natzi.  Red Flag.  Good times:)

My comedy short film @Flappers New Media Film Festival

Thank all the cast, crew, and everyone's support for coming out to Flappers New Media Film Festival on March 4th....super excited my film advanced to the final round:)  Please check it out on and vote funny:) Ep1 Bank Robbers

Oscar animation nominees at the Academy in February Good Times:)

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Victoria Cordova-Stand Up Comedy-Friday Night Live Show

Triple AAA Red Flag

On the way home from Film Independent's Director's Workshop I got a flat tire.  I had to call Triple AAA for help.  I ended up getting towed home.  Triple AAA driver asked me if he could stay at my place because he was tired.  Red Flag.  I'm not a bed and breakfast.  Triple AAA I can only give them one A.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Red Flag "I had no Idea I had a boyfriend"

This guy Mike from Arizona calls me up and says we are starting to drift apart.  We broke up four years ago.  I had no idea I had a boyfriend.  Red Flag.  Good Times:)

Tonight Wed. Jan. 25th Comedy Show@Flappers Comedy Club

I'm performing stand up comedy at Flappers Comedy Club @ 8pm tonight Wed. Jan. 25th.  Come and laugh your head off:)  Red Flags.  Good Times:)

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Red Flag "Hidden Camera in your shirt Guy"

When you need to put a hidden camera in your dress shirt pocket.  Red Flag.  Hidden Camera in your shirt Guy.  Red Flag.  Good times:)

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Convictedfelons.Com Please watch my new comedy film called it's online dating for convicted felons:)

Red Flag "It's Such Bad Timing I'm Married Guy"

I met this funny cute Irish guy, who kept spilling his drink on me in the bar.  He tells me he would really like to take me home but it's such bad timing he's married.  Cute Irish Guy spills his drink on my friend and tells her he would really like to take her home but it's such bad timing he's married.  Married Guy.  Red Flag.  Good Times:)

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Red Flag "Divorced Guy keeps asking me why I'm not Married"

This guy keeps asking me why aren't you married?  You don't want to be married?  Why aren't you married?  This guy should know why I'm not married he's divorced.  Divorced Guy, who keeps asking me why I'm not married.  Red Flag.  Good Times:)

Red Flag "The Guy Who Bought A Zoo & his Angry Monkey"

The Guy, who bought a Zoo owns a monkey.  His monkey stole and ate my ice-cream cone.  Red Flag.  His monkey got angry when he took my ice-cream cone away.  His Monkey almost ripped his face off.  The Guy, who bought a Zoo and his Angry Monkey.  Red Flag.  Good times:)

Sunday Jan.8th@9pm my comedy Film Angry Yogi is Screening at Flappers New Media Film Festival

If you are free this Sunday Jan.8th@9pm and would like to attend my comedy film screening of Angry Yogi at Flappers New Media Film Festival at Flappers Comedy Club please mention my film so you can get in for free and laugh your pants off:)  Angry Yogi and four other films I wrote,directed, and produced screened at the Cannes Film Festival.  Check out my comedy films on and vote funny:)

Monday, January 2, 2012

Red Flag"I met the Guy who Bought a Zoo"

I met the guy, who bought a zoo.  His parrot landed on my head, his turtle peed on my foot, I saw a snake.  I hate snakes.  Red Flag.  He breeds pitbulls but they look like lions.  He has miniature sharks in a tank.  Why can't he own a goldfish?  The Guy, who has a Zoo in his house.  Red Flag.  Good times. 

Victoria Cordova-Stand Up Comedy@Hollywood Hotel

Wednesday Night Stand Up Comedy Tribal Cafe Jan. 4th 8pm-11pm

Wacky Wednesday Comedy/Music Show at Tribal Cafe this Wed. Jan.4th 8pm-11pm.  Tribal Cafe is located at 1651 West Temple St, Echo to a weed shop:)  Come out to Tribal Cafe for music & comedy & laugh your pants off:)  Brody Stevens from the Hang Over Films, Adam Richmond, Rick Shapiro, fabulous comics.  Any comics or musicians reading this please come and do a set if you are free and would like to perform:)  You are all amazing:)  Happy New Year!